films: thirty second shallow reviews

Because instead of writing anything of substance (or doing anything of substance, haha what readings?) I'm going to gush about films. In a very, very shallow manner.

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - hot damn Rooney Mara please um let me wait on you hand and foot for the chance to gaze adoringly at your face. Take home the award for "hottest sex scenes in a movie ever" please.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - wow gay. As in, really damn homosexual. Wow this was a gorgeous movie with gorgeous love scenes between Holmes and Watson. At some points I was just really damn sad because the ridiculous amount of love Holmes has for Watson is just so... unrealized. :( Also Noomi Rapace's cheekbones are ridiculous omg.

A Dangerous Method - in which Michael Fassbender has a ridiculous mustache, Keira Knightley is gorgeous but a terrible, forced actor, and Viggo Mortensen is a creepy father figure.

Zodiac - creepy creepy creepy but beautiful atmosphere and Jake Gyllenhaal looks really damn earnest and Robert Downey Jr. makes me cry at his sheer magnificence.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - a movie about sexy, sexy voices. Oh and uhhh spies! Right spies. (ugh what I would do for a movie in which Benedict Cumberbatch dirty-talks someone. On the phone. While in a suit with a loosened tie.)

film: 2012

Here we go again: films watched in 2012!

January

1. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, dir. David Fincher. 2011.

2. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, dir. Guy Ritchie. 2011.
3. A Dangerous Method, dir. David Cronenberg. 2011.
4. Zodiac, dir. David Fincher. 2007.

February

5. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, dir. Tomas Alfredson. 2011.

6. America the Beautiful, dir. Darryl Roberts. 2007.

7. Third Star, dir. Hattie Dalton. 2010.

8. The Secret World of Arrietty, dir. Hiromasa Yonebayashi. 2010.

9. Shop 'Til You Drop: The Crisis of Consumerism, dir. Gene Brockhoff. 2010.

Let's see if I can beat my 2011 record this year...

films: Love Actually, He's Just Not That Into You

warnings: possible spoilers ahead. for sure a metric ton of swearing.

11. Love Actually, dir. Richard Curtis. 2003.

watched March 9, 2011

57. He's Just Not That Into You, dir. Ken Kwapis. 2009.

watched November 25, 2011

Tackling these two (vaguely entertaining but frankly terrible) movies together, because I have things to say that only have marginal relevance to both. (Or maybe possibly it is entirely too relevant.)

Fuck these movies. Seriously, fuck 'em. I am so ridiculously sick and tired of these tired ridiculous heterosexist white-people romantic comedies that espouse ridiculous gender conventions that are often demeaning to women.

The first half of Love Actually I spent cooing reluctantly at the actors on the screen, and by the second half I was just shoveling popcorn into my mouth shouting, "Yeah, white people! Go forth and conquer the day!" and "Yeah, white man! Why don't you show off just how entitled you think you fucking are by doing what-the-fuck-ever you are doing!" Which is, alright, a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, Hollywood, seriously. You have that much cash on you and you can't pay decent writers to write you something fucking new? Do you think only white people go out to see movies? On that note, do you think all non-white people have a shit ton of baggage that the script must address and oh no, a two-hour movie just ain't long enough for that? I get that at least one of these movies is about holiday cheer and spreading the warm and fuzzy feelings of love but god way to alienate a good percentage of your viewers by making every single love story between white people. (And don't give me shit about how Keira Knightley's husband in Love Actually was black, the story revolved mostly around her and her husband's white best friend.)

Some people might read this and go, "Whoa, aren't you being a bit racist against white people?" And I will reply, very earnestly, "No. You can't be racist against white people. You can't erase privilege like that." So if I had to admit to being anything, I'd say that I'm prejudiced against white people in shitty films like Love Actually and He's Just Not That Into You. Why are they the only ones represented? Do Asian-Americans and other hyphenated Americans just not matter? Are our stories not worth being told on the silver screen?

What else did I hate about these movies? Ah yes, the heterosexism. Way to erase the homosexual population, the bisexual population, the trans* population, the anything-that-isn't-straight-straight-straight population.

Also, He's Just Not That Into You: fuck you. Fuck you and your massive hard-on for gender essentialism. Fuck you and your pedantic "girls shouldn't be so assertive!"

Also, who the fuck was Drew Barrymore's character? Why was she even relevant? Was it just to give everyone a happy ending, if only in potentia? (I'm pretty sure I used "in potentia" incorrectly, but at this point I don't give a fuck.) Did she exist just to poke fun of the supposed perils of internet dating? Really?

God. I just. Come on, Hollywood, is a romantic comedy not about a straight white couple too much to ask for?!

film: Shame

warning: possible spoilers ahead.

59. Shame, dir. Steve McQueen. 2011.

watched December 13, 2011

This is a really fucking sad movie. Or a really sad fucking movie. Literally.

Awkward joke aside, Shame, directed by Steve McQueen (who, as every movie review seems to need to clarify, is a British director), is a movie about sex. About fucking, and a lack of intimacy, and how what we need shapes our lives.

I'm not sure I can clarify how I feel about this film. On the one hand, it's beautiful. McQueen mixes the classy, uptown-side of downtown New York and the breathtaking skylines and the seedy underbelly (good god everything sounds like a reference to sex, now) all in one film and does it seamlessly, forces us to see the full spectrum of the cityscape. On the other hand, it's stark and painful and so, so desolate - twisted, really, twisted and needy and when the film starts off you're sitting in the theatre staring helplessly at Michael Fassbender's bouncing dick wondering if you can give this movie what it needs, what it wants you to feel. Because really, Shame wants a visceral reaction out of you. Shame bares it all but doesn't tell you how to react to it. You watch the events play out on the screen and you can't help but ask questions: what is wrong with Brandon Sullivan? Did they just hint at the fact that his condition is a result of a brain injury? Are we supposed to judge him? What happened to him and Sissy, his sister? What the fuck is going on between the two? Is this movie brilliant or just really fucking unnecessarily convoluted? but the ending of the movie doesn't offer any answers. You feel like you should watch the film a second time in an effort to puzzle things out, but it's such a jarring, arresting movie that you feel like watching it again would just break your heart and refuse to return the pieces.

If there's one definite thing Shame shows the viewers, though, it's this: Michael Fassbender can and will act the fucking heart out of you.

He is Brandon Sullivan. And as terribly cliché as that sounds, it's fucking true. You don't sit there watching him fuck a prostitute against a window and think, "god in that other movie he had such a huge stick up his ass that he probably didn't even know there was a meaning to fuck other than 'I'm going to kill you'!" You sit there in that theatre simultaneously repulsed and sympathetic and forlorn because here is a man, perfectly capable of being friendly and dating a lovely woman from work, who can't have sex when it's intimate and can't go on without sex. You sit there wondering if he tried so hard with that woman because he wanted intimacy, because he knew he couldn't deal with it but needed it anyway, or if he tried because it was just what was expected of him, what society told him to want.

Whether you loved the film or hated it, you can't deny that Michael Fassbender fucking owned the screen.

On a rather contradictory note, I think part of the reason why the film resonated so well with me is because of the underlying tone of emptiness. The opening scene of Brandon on his bed, just breathing - god. There's something so quiet and understated about it. It should be desolate, lonely, but it's not. It's just... there.

...good god, I am so terrible at movie reviews it's ridiculous.

film: 2011

For my own reference, mostly. Re-watched movies will be included on the list, but won't add to the count. Will edit as I go.

Also, because it's fucking awesome: Filmography 2011, edited by Gen I.

January

The Social Network, dir. David Fincher. 2010.

1. The Green Hornet, dir. Michel Gondry. 2011.

2. Team America: World Police, dir. Trey Parker. 2004.

3. The Fighter, dir. David O. Russell. 2010.

February

4. Unstoppable, dir. Tony Scott. 2010.

5. Date Night, dir. Shawn Levy. 2010.

6. Pride & Prejudice, dir. Joe Wright. 2005.

7. The Cove, dir. Louie Psihoyos. 2009.

8. 127 Hours, dir. Danny Boyle. 2010.

9. Raiders of the Lost Ark, dir. Steven Spielberg. 1981.

10. The King's Speech, dir. Tom Hooper. 2010.

March

11. Love Actually, dir. Richard Curtis. 2003.

12. Roman Holiday, dir. William Wyler. 1953.

13. The Fog of War, dir. Errol Morris. 2003.

14. The Yes-Men Fix the World, dir. Andy Bichlbaum & Mike Bonanno. 2009.

April

15. Zombieland, dir. Ruben Fleischer. 2009.

16. Living in Emergency, dir. Mark N. Hopkins. 2008.

17. In the Loop, dir. Armando Iannucci. 2009.

May

18. Armadillo, dir. Janus Metz Pedersen. 2010.
19. Rio, dir. Carlos Saldanha. 2011.
20. Source Code, dir. Duncan Jones. 2011.
21. Raw Opium: Pain, Pleasure, Profits, dir. Peter Findlay. 2010.
22. God No Say So, dir. Brigitte Uttar Kornetzky. 2009.
23. Tears of Gaza, dir. Vibeke Løkkeberg. 2010.
24. Il Lupo in Calzoncini Corti (The Wolf in Shorts), dir. Nadia Dalle Vedove & Lucia Stano. 2010.
25. War Is Not A Game, dir. Lode Desmet. 2010.
26. Neurotypical. dir. Adam Larsen. 2010.
27. Food Inc., dir. Robert Kenner. 2008.
28. The Market, dir. Rama Rau. 2010.
29. Food Security: It's In Your Hands, dir. Nick Versteeg. 2009.
30. If A Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front, dir. Marshall Curry. 2011.
31. No! The Rape Documentary, dir. Aishah Shahidah Simmons. 2006.
32. The National Parks Project, dirs. Scott Smith, Zacharias Kunuk, Peter Lynch, Sturla Gunnarsson, Kevin McMahon, Louise Archambault, Hubert Davis, Catherine Martin, Daniel Cockburn, John Walker, Jamie Travis, Stéphane Lafleur & Keith Behrman. 2011.
33. Thor, dir. Kenneth Branagh. 2011.
Star Trek, dir. J.J. Abrams. 2009.
34. The Hangover Part II, dir. Todd Phillips. 2011.

June
35. X-Men: First Class, dir. Matthew Vaughn. 2011.
Pride and Prejudice
36. Super 8, dir. J.J. Abrams. 2011.
37. Waiting for 'Superman', dir. Davis Guggenheim. 2010.
38. Notting Hill, dir. Roger Michell. 1999.
39. District 9, dir. Neill Blomkamp. 2009.

July
40. Never Let Me Go, dir. Mark Romanek. 2010.
41. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: part 2, dir. David Yates. 2011.
42. Easy A, dir. Will Gluck. 2010.
X-Men: First Class
43. Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, dir. Robert Greenwald. 2005.
44. Captain America: The First Avenger, dir. Joe Johnston. 2011.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: part 2

August
45. Black Swan, dir. Darren Aronofsky. 2010.
46. Becoming Jane, dir. Julian Jarrold. 2007.
47. Conan the Barbarian, dir. Marcus Nispel. 2011.

September
48. The Interrupters, dir. Steve James. 2011.
49. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, dir. Edgar Wright. 2010.

October
50. The Price of Sex, dir. Mimi Chakarova. 2011.
51. 50/50, dir. Jonathan Levine. 2011.
52. Die Hard, dir. John McTiernan. 1988.
53. Miss Representation, dir. Jennifer Siebel Newsom. 2011.
54. Bridget Jones' Diary, dir. Sharon Maguire. 2001.

November
55. 도가니 (Silenced), dir. 황동혁 (Dong Hyeuk HWANG). 2011.
56. The Ides of March, dir. George Clooney. 2011.
57. He's Just Not That Into You, dir. Ken Kwapis. 2009.

December
58. 500 Days of Summer, dir. Marc Webb. 2009.
59. Shame, dir. Steven McQueen. 2011.
60. Contagion, dir. Steven Soderbergh. 2011.
Hitch, dir. Andy Tennant. 2005.
61. Midnight in Paris, dir. Woody Allen. 2011.
62. Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol, dir. Brad Bird. 2011.
Iron Man, dir. Jon Favreau. 2008.
Iron Man 2, dir. Jon Favreau. 2010.

...JESUS CHRIST.

film: The Ides of March

Blowing dust off the ol' blog again in an attempt to organize my thoughts on the film The Ides of March.

Warning: spoilers ahead.


56. The Ides of March, dir. George Clooney. 2011.

watched November 20th

What the fuck was up with the film's treatment of Molly and what happened to her?

I mean, it's possible I was missing things because I was occasionally acting as translator for my friend and so missed a few bits of dialog, but come on. I suppose I should give credit to the screenplay writers for not overtly casting judgment on her, but the moment it was revealed that she had "slept with" Governor Mike Morris, George Clooney's character, my face was a huge :/ because I'm not sure what I got.

See, I thought that the governor had raped her. I thought he chatted with her for a bit that night in the hotel, and then reached behind her and shut the door and raped her. And even if she didn't protest and even if she did go along with it, it wouldn't rule out rape because rape is very rarely the "guy jumps the well dressed (provocatively dressed?) girl in a darkened alley and rapes her while she cries and cries and tries to fight back" story that seems to pervade society's collective consciousness.

But then Steven, Ryan Gosling's character, tells the governor during the climactic blackmailing scene that the governor "made the one mistake [he] shouldn't've - [he] fucked an intern." (Or something along those lines, anyways.)

I was sitting there going, "wait a minute, did I not comprehend things properly? Did he not rape an intern??"

What kind of conclusions are the viewers supposed to draw about Molly? Are we supposed to assume that because she slept willingly with Steven - no, not only that she slept with him, that because she even took the initiative and flirted with him, whatever happened between the governor and her was consensual?

Also, wtf was up with the immediate questioning of Molly's sobriety?

I get that this film is about the ~corruption of politics~ and how it's so ~tough~ being a ~good person~ in politics. But really, we already know this shit. So George Clooney's environmental, secularist governor isn't actually perfect. So Ryan Gosling is perfect as Steven, the driven career man who'd do anything to get a seat at the big boys of campaign managing's table.

We already know this shit, seriously. Is it too much to ask for a film that goes beyond the obvious and instead of ~showing us how it is!!1 in the ~hard world of politics~ offers us a new perspective? Is it too much to ask for a movie that will legitimize a point of view that ISN'T the white, privileged man's? Something that doesn't recycled the same old (wrong) ideas about politics and where men, women, men of color and women of color fit into it?

And don't give me shit about how if I "want to see it so badly" I should just "shut up and write it myself". I mean, I get the point, but wow, way to be dismissive.

Ugh. But overall, good acting and the plot was well-paced, no matter how hackneyed I found it. Also, Ryan Gosling's face was excellent.

films, film festivals, DOXA

ARGH I told myself that in 2011 I'd write little blurbs about each film I watch in an effort to actually retain some information, but it's already May and I've posted what, only January? Abject, absolute failure on my part, I know. Here's hoping I'll catch up by the end of the summer!Particularly because this past week I've been bussing/SkyTrain-ing downtown near daily to participate in DOXA, a documentary film festival. That's a lot of amazing films and important issues to write and think about...

And of course near the end of this month there's yet another film festival I'd love to check out: Projecting Change. It'll take place from the 26th of May to the 29th with 20+ films - all of which I will probably be aching to see, although they don't quite have a full schedule out for us to peruse yet. Once I get this job situation figured out, I'd love to sign up to be a volunteer.

Anyways! Time to list off all the films I've watched so far, as a kind of "write blurbs for these movies, you lazy procrastinating dumbass!" reminder.